“How was Denmark?”

This is a question I receive often. Sometimes it comes when I am sitting in class, sometimes it comes when I walk down the streets of Athens. Other times it comes when I see my family members for the first time. I love this question, but admittedly I am unsure how to answer it. As I become familiar with “the question” I find myself answering this to myself just as much as I answer it to other people.

How can begin to explain such a life altering experience in a few words?

Most times, I answer this question to the effect of

 “I learned a lot” 

Or…

“I am so grateful for my time there”

Both of which feel like a more authentic alternative to the traditional, and a bit awkward…

“It was good”

If you see me, perhaps we will talk more about the surface level things, like the food, particularly the delicious Danish rugbrod, the weather (which was often cloudy, rainy, or a mixture of the two) or the language (which, no, I am not fluent in, but I do know the names of the street I live on, various bus stops, and how to say “cheers”) 

Maybe you are wondering why I am so grateful or what I learned beyond that.

Or maybe it is hard for me to express in that moment.
So, in the typical Grace fashion, I decided to write it all down. Here is the full, unabridged answer to the question,

“How was Denmark?”

Well, here it goes…

1. Life is long, but it is also short.

I view my time in Aarhus a little bit like a separate life itself- it was a lifetime inside of this larger life I am living. When I came to Denmark, I knew nothing and no one. I couldn’t read the signs on the street, I had little understanding of currency, the school system, how to act, or what was “normal”. In a lot of ways, I felt like a child entering into the world-helpless, innocent, and naive to what the world was like or my place in it. I quickly came to know the feelings of being new, culturally incompetent, and a little awkward. As the days passed, I got to not only know my surroundings, but I came to love them. Slowly, I began to build a life, establish relationships, and understand society. And of course, just as I came to get the hang of this whole “life” thing- I had to say goodbye. Even from the day I moved into my new home, I was very aware of my limited time in this new life I was living was. Despite the slight sadness of this realization- the human reality that all good things must come to an end, I knew that I shouldn’t be afraid of establishing close relationships or building lasting connections just because I had to eventually leave it- but rather I should love hard and live fully because I was merely moving through it all. In the final month, I found myself saying some very emotional goodbyes to loved ones, to the family and community I found myself a part of, to the place and the life I had come to know and love.

Such is life. We come into the world knowing nothing, we build a life for ourselves, and then we must leave it one day. My time there in Denmark was so beautiful and so meaningful because I knew it must come to an end. I remember sitting with my new friends at dinners, thinking about how lucky I was just to be there, to be alive, and to be a part of the world. I learned how precious time really is, and how to appreciate the people we love fully and completely. Upon my arrival home, I carry this knowledge with me every single day, appreciating even the beauty in the every day things. Even though I feel as though I spent forever in Denmark, my life there was ultimately short. We must love hard and learn while we can. Although every day doesn’t have to be a grand adventure, I find extreme gratitude in being alive-appreciating the beauty in my youth, and the many lives I have to live in front of me.

2. Take the chance. Your future self will thank you

Before I left for Denmark, while I was there, and now as I return, people all ask me the same thing: 

“Why Denmark?”

To be honest with you, to this day, I still can’t tell you a real reason. I knew I wanted to live abroad, and it was by chance that I found an interesting program that worked for me that happened to be in Denmark. I honestly knew very, very little about Denmark, even as I stepped foot in the country for the first time. It felt right to me, so I decided to take a chance and go while I had the opportunity in front of me. A really funny thing happens when you decide to take a chance on yourself. Suddenly, I started taking more chances, some big, and some small, always doing what felt right to me. Soon, I found myself training for my first half marathon, seeing my friends from Germany that I had not seen since high school, taking a 42 mile bike ride, and being so open to new people, places, ways of life and to love. I learned how long life is when we are present in it, and how there are so many ways to live one life if we take the chances in front of us. I am very aware how big my dreams are- and that sometimes, I may fail. I may be told “no”. After living in Denmark, I will never, ever be the one to say “no” to myself.

3. Slow down, the best things in life are the most simple.

Before I went abroad, I thought I would be seeing as much of Europe as I could. I had this mindset of  “wanting to do it all”. While I arrived, I found myself letting go of this idea of fitting as much as I could in during this time, and just living there and being as present as I could. When I look back at the adventures I find myself recounting the most, they are the simple, free things. A lot of my fondest memories are conversations I had with my friends over a dinner we made together, taking a walk on the beach, and just being there. Looking back, I found a lot of freedom in letting go of the idea of perfection or having high expectations. It sounds cliche, but I think it is a cliche because it is true. The best things about my life weren’t the big things- but the quiet, happy moments I spent with the people I loved.

4. We are much more than the place we come from.

I lived in a building with fourteen other people, and my group of friends were from many different countries. As someone who had never met so many people from different backgrounds, nor traveled outside of the country extensively, I had many perceptions of people and what they would be like. Of course, the early conversations I had revolved around our home countries, but as time went on, the conversations about the places from where we came became fewer and far between. Suddenly, something truly beautiful happened as the days passed by. I came to know my neighbors, my classmates, and my dearest friends as far more than where they came from or how they grew up; I saw everyone as just people. As I got to know the humanity in others, I came to recognize the true, deep humanity that lies within me. I am from The United States, born in Marietta, Ohio. This will always be an important part of me and how I see the world; but I am not defined by a place, and neither is anyone else.

5. How to rely on others

When I would read anything about studying or living abroad prior to my departure, I would always read how living abroad will make you more independent. I actually found quite the opposite. Maybe it is the patriot in me, but I was never lacking in the independence department. Pre-Denmark Grace was always the one to crave solitude, to solve my problems on my own, and  be very individualist. However, when I arrived in Denmark, I had to rely on others to learn how to live. Suddenly, I found myself finding comfort in my new community. Living in Skjoldhoj and sharing a living space with fourteen other people, whose company I cherished taught me the value of community and being in the presence of other people; knowing I always have others to depend on when I need it.

6. We are global citizens; more connected to one another than we know

There’s something magical about knowing I am a small, small part of a huge world. When I went to Denmark, I knew I would learn about Denmark, but I had know idea how much I would grow to know and care more about places like Lebanon, Czech Republic, South Korea, Germany, and many others that now have a special place in my heart. I learned more about new traditions, and also more global issues that I now care deeply about. I now see despite being from different geographic locations, eating different food, and speaking different languages, how we are all so connected.

7. This is not the end, but the beginning

Sometimes, when I answer the question 

“How was Denmark?”

I find myself feeling many things; happiness, grief, nostalgia, and everything in between. But mostly I feel gratitude. I feel gratitude for my family and friends at home who supported my dreams whole-heartedly. I feel gratitude for the life-long friends I made and the adventures we shared. I am humbled to have the opportunity and honor to learn more about the world and my part in it. I am grateful to have represented my home in Denmark and now have the opportunity to represent Denmark and the people I met there to people at home. 

And finally, I feel gratitude when I realize that it’s not really the end at all, but rather the beginning of a new lifetime, with many questions and adventures to come

. Often I find myself wondering how I can continue to be more of a global citizen, how I can find a way to bridge the gaps in geography and across time zones with the people I’ve met, and what new adventures and lifetimes I will live. These are big questions- and it’s now my job to live, to learn, and to try to make the world a little bit better along the way. Although it is the end of the chapter, I view my time in Denmark as the beginning of a long, beautiful story.